I Can't Quite Say
by lightmylumiere
Summary: Chameron during the House finale


*A what-if story, so bear with me.  
I watched the House finale the other day, sad to see that not "Everybody Dies" in the episode entitled Everybody Dies, and that Wilson is the one that snaps at Houseʼs funeral. So in case you are wondering, this has nothing to do with House or Wilson or any of them. This is Chase and Cameron, enjoying a conversation at Houseʼs funeral. Okay, so it has a LITTLE to do with House...*

I Canʼt Quite Say

She knew heʼd be there, deep in her heart of hearts. With that devilish grin he refused to show on the sad day, those tale-telling eyes he had. The short cropped blonde hair, the thick Aussie accent in his speech. She watched him carefully, he spoke before she did, and he definitely had something to say. "Iʼm not saying he was a nice guy... he wasnʼt. But he was a great boss, no denying that." He looked quite good in black, she had forgotten how nice he looked in that black suit. The black suit she picked out all that time ago.

He sat down beside her as Thirteen spoke. She had fought back tears for so long, she couldnʼt help but cry softly, shaking a little as she did so. Chase instinctively wrapped his ex-wife in his arms, consoling her. She shouldnʼt have liked how he was holding her tightly, but somehow she did. He wasnʼt who he was when she met him, but that didnʼt change the fact that once upon a time she loved him.

Cameron let her hair fall onto her face, strands of blonde near her eyes. Her makeup was nearly nonexistent, she had intended on crying. Chase remembered how she was when she left; just as undone as she was at the funeral, not smiling at all, the color that used to flood to her cheeks gone. She had actually changed a lot since she left, Chase thought to himself, or maybe it was just the black dress she had on.

They sat back together as tears continued down her face, and she continued to cry with her head on his shoulder and his arms around her tiny form.

...later...

They sat with the other members of previous teams: Thirteen and Foreman, Taub, Parks and Adams. Cameron sat beside Chase, the only sign of familiarity at the event. She couldnʼt wrap her mind around it: House was her home. And in that sense, the only place that no matter what sheʼd be accepted was gone. While focusing on this little detail she hardly heard Foreman talking to her. "Cameron." He kept repeating. "Cameron, Cameron."

Finally she snapped up and looked at him with red-rimmed eyes. "Yes?" She squeaked, seeing the well suited man peering into her soul. She missed Foreman, that was true. She hated how she left without telling him goodbye.

"Thereʼs always a spot for you at Princeton-Plainsboro, you know that. Right?" Foreman asked as she looked down at her plate. Her fairly empty plate, the one that once had a serving of colorful food she hadnʼt seen in a while. Only PPTH, only they could pull off this kind of food. "Right?"

"Of course, Foreman, I know." She choked, looking back into his deep brown eyes. "Iʼm pretty sure I canʼt just unroot and come back though."

Chase put his hand on her shoulder. "If you came back, you could stay with me for a little while. I still have the apartment and all, Foremanʼs certain to hire you. Weʼll need all the work we can get at the hospital..." Foreman gave Chase a stern look, as if saying ʻyouʼre trying too hardʼ. He backed off.

Thirteen had something to say softly. "I can be a fill-in, part time of course." Foreman nodded. "If Cameron came back, too... it would be like getting the team back together."

Foreman looked at the evading Cameron carefully. "You have a reason to stay though, donʼt you?"

"My husband canʼt just leave his job, even if I could with mine." Chaseʼs eyes widened and his hand fell off her shoulder.

"I didnʼt... you remarried?" It was then that he saw it. The wedding ring and the diamond ring. Thatʼs what was different, she had a different glowing to her.  
"And I have a daughter." Cameron reported, Thirteen looked at her as she pulled her phone out of her purse, her husband and the infant child, and she passed the phone around the table. "Her name is Emma."

"She looks just like you." Chase commented sourly. Just like her.

"Thanks." Cameron beamed, looking at him curiously. That wasnʼt the reaction she expected from someone as envious as Chase. "Maybe I can get a nice little place here, move my family somewhere safe like Princeton."

"After all, weʼll need you on Chaseʼs new team..."

...Quite some time later, Cameron is back in Chicago when she gets an e-mail from Chase...

"Did you ask him about moving back and accepting a job at PPTH?" Chase wrote, seeing Cameron appear online in his g-mail inbox. He was going to wait anxiously for her reply, knowing that one day she would and the answers would be revealing.

"I canʼt." Well that wasnʼt the revealing answer that Chase had hoped for, but it was the only answer Cameron could give. She wasnʼt going to ask, she knew the answer. And it would be pleasing to her ears, but her husband would regret it... and she couldnʼt risk Emma growing up without her father.

"Why canʼt you?" Chase asked her, looking through Houseʼs computer files to see what he had. The man who didnʼt care about anything other than the films he got and the hookers he invited, he had quite a few pictures of his previous patients. His puzzles. His employees, his team, his Cuddy. And Dominica. More pictures of him and Dominica then House wouldʼve ever admitted he had. But the one he was looking for wasnʼt there. Heʼd have to keep searching.

"Itʼs weird. What do want me to say? "Oh, I got offered a job at PPTH during my ex-bossʼs funeral. Iʼve been invited to live with my ex-husband who I still have some feelings for... letʼs pack our suitcases and leave." No! That would be beyond strange." Cameron stood in the nurseʼs station reading over this, realizing what she had written only after it was sent. She smacked her forehead and was certain the other nurses were staring at her. She didnʼt care. He would read between the lines of that and that was dangerous.

"You still have feelings for me?" Those words she was waiting for, and the words she figured would fix the whole mess.

"I was in love with you for five years." An excellent rebuttal, but it couldnʼt wipe the grin from Chaseʼs face. Nothing could at this point. He was finally in charge and his ex-wife loved him. He couldnʼt be happier.

"And House for three of those." How did he even REMEMBER that? He wanted her to reply with something that could make him even happier. If that was possible.

"You were different. We had something in common. House was broken and needed love. You just... took me in and made me better than I was." She sighed, glad to finally get this off her chest. He was looking for something, and through all of Houseʼs files he still couldnʼt find it. But he continued his search even through his reply.

"So you still LOVE me?" Chase replied hopefully, a question Cameron hoped sheʼd never have to answer again. It was a tough one, because the answer she had was so different from the one sheʼd have to give him.

"I canʼt quite say. But I doubt Iʼm going back to Princeton." Cameron answered calmly, barely caring what he would say this time. It made no difference to her what he was thinking now. She had more pressing topics on her mind. He had found what he was looking for at these disapproving words.

"I hope this picture will remind you of our glory days though." There it was: a picture of the group at a staff Christmas party. Her new desktop background as it soon became. She missed them, yes, but she never looked back on what could have been at PPTH. It was better if she didnʼt. Sheʼd never tell him she missed him, so she dwelled on the current day and the life she led. He felt he should do the same.

*And... thatʼs it. Iʼve skipped enough class-wide video editing... so review please. Make this worth my while.*


End file.
